"Hi, I'm CARTER CHASTAIN! But all my friends call me Farter Fatstain or Lame Ass"

Let me tell you about how much peen I suck. It's a lot.
I go from house to house in the middle of the night sucking peens, kinda like Santa,
But instead of giving presents, I just suck. Peen that is.
And instead of coming through the chimney, I come through the door.
Then I suck peens.